Five Fortunes

This got started to fill a need for some interesting Greeked text. There was an irresistible urge to make the page dynamic...

You will have a head crash on your private pack.

(6) Men employees will be given time off each week for courting
purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church.
(7) After an employee has spent his thirteen hours of labor in the
office, he should spend the remaining time reading the Bible
and other good books.
(8) Every employee should lay aside from each pay packet a goodly
sum of his earnings for his benefit during his declining years,
so that he will not become a burden on society or his betters.
(9) Any employee who smokes Spanish cigars, uses alcoholic drink
in any form, frequents pool tables and public halls, or gets
shaved in a barber's shop, will give me good reason to suspect
his worth, intentions, integrity and honesty.
(10) The employee who has performed his labours faithfully and
without a fault for five years, will be given an increase of
five cents per day in his pay, providing profits from the
business permit it.
-- "Office Worker's Guide", New England Carriage
Works, 1872

I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a
full house and four people died.
-- Steven Wright

You will always have good luck in your personal affairs.

Paranoid Club meeting this Friday.
Now ... just try to find out where!

Five Fortunes

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